Embarrassment and Humiliation...

Hello everybody - long time no blog!!

In some recent e-mail exchanges I’ve had, I’ve been discussing the topic of embarrassment and/or humiliation, in particular relating to slutty attire and make up, such as short skirts, revealing outfits, high heels, and slutty make-up etc. I was asked how embarrassed I was being requested to wear slutty outfits or overly revealing clothes in public. As my answer ended up being a long-winded affair that was worthy of a blog entry, and as I haven’t posted a blog entry for a while, I thought I would edit/expand my answer a bit, and post it on here for all to read… so here it is…

To answer that I need to give a bit of a back story.

I wouldn’t go as far as saying my “normal” unaided attire was “slutty”, but I’ve never been one for ankle length skirts and high necked jumpers. I’ve worn high heels on a regular basis since I was about 19 (I’m 25 now), probably starting off with 3-4” heels, then moving up to the 4” heel being the standard, and now with J’s pushing, I’m more at 4-5” heels. I probably wear 5” heels at least 2-3 days a week nowadays. I also have two pairs of 6” heels, which are worn much more sporadically and are definitely “special occasion” shoes.

As for skirts – most of my skirts are above the knee, many being a good few inches above the knee, so short skirts aren’t new to me. I have no problem showing a bit of cleavage and I never have. And I’m also an avid stocking wearer, which is a rarity today, especially in the twenty-something generation. I started wearing stockings very occasionally at about 18-19 when I first dipped my toes into the D/s waters, and it grew from there. I enjoyed the sexiness and classiness I felt in them, any Dom boyfriends I had encouraged it, online D/s chatting encouraged it, just regular guys and boyfriends liked it too, so it just grew and grew until I wore them at least 3-4 days a week. Since meeting J it has grown even further to the point where he threw away the few pairs of tights (pantyhose) I still had left, and now I either wear stockings, or go bare-legged.

The point of this back story is that with most of the clothes I wear there is a good chance I would have chosen them myself even if I hadn’t been told to wear them. Especially as my boundaries have lowered even further since meeting J. Maybe I wouldn’t have chosen them two years ago, as early in our relationship when the D/s aspect was really taking shape, he set stricter rules for my clothing – so I’d wear clothes that I felt were too revealing for work, or for going out or whatever the case may have been. This is something that did cause me embarrassment and humiliation at the time. I remember a few times I cried in my car on the way to work or some other fairly conservative event, as I sat there wondering what people would think about me with my cleavage on display, a short skirt that I had to keep yanking on to keep my stocking tops covered when sitting down, and extra high heels that just accentuated my legs and how short my skirt was. That started off as total embarrassment until I really embraced the fact that I actually looked quite sexy, and started to enjoy the attention a bit more, and found out that with the right positive attitude, people accept you for the person you are, no matter how short your skirt is!

So I’ve developed to the point where what used to be humiliating isn’t anymore. But that doesn’t take anything away from it – you could say J has had a hand in moulding me into what he wanted his subslut to be, and you can definitely say that what once was humiliation and embarrassment, is now “control”, which is overall a more satisfying, loving, and trusting point to be at in a relationship.

I don’t dress like that everyday though, we’ve found that it would take the specialness away from it and take the excitement out of it. Occasionally I’ll do a full week of it, but generally we downplay it – I may wear more conservative outfits for most of the week, or just add a “touch of slut” as we like to call it; such as a knee length skirt with a split, a tight figure hugging top, with stockings, sexy underwear, and 5” heels. Then when I go sluttier for that 1 or 2 days, it has a bigger impact.

It also doesn’t mean that the attempts to embarrass me have stopped – he just has to try harder and push me further to get the same results. It’s still a little embarrassing to get the stares and glares, but you get used to them, and then for him to keep that same embarrassment for that odd day out here and there, maybe an evening out, a shopping trip, or the weekly supermarket trip, the skirt gets shorter (perhaps struggling to cover the stocking tops), the heels get higher (6” perhaps), the top becomes more revealing, items of underwear may disappear, or the stockings become a bit more eye-catching. I still have issues wearing seamed stockings with very short skirts, so he keeps going back to that one for embarrassment purposes. Seamed fishnets are even more slutty, so too are black stockings with a red seam. I have bright pink stockings that cause extra looks in my direction, and the most embarrassing stockings I can wear are light coloured ones with a darker seam, such as “natural” stockings with a black contrast seam. I still get very embarrassed from the attention I get from those, even with a knee length skirt, so imagine the added embarrassment of wearing them with a shorter skirt!

And there’s make-up – that is still a boundary for me. I prefer minimal make-up in natural colours. So the bright red lips, finger nails and toe nails that J likes still gets to me. Add in heavier blusher (or rouge as I think a lot of countries in the world call it), eye shadow, and eye-liner, and that really makes me look slutty and embarrasses me. I like to look “gorgeous”, “stunning”, “fuckable”, but I don’t want to be looked at like a cheap slut. That is how you really embarrass me.

So there are definitely still ways to embarrass me in public! And we can’t forget the sluttiness of colour co-ordinating either – an all black outfit, with bright red shoes is a simple example of getting extra sluttiness out of an outfit and turning more peoples heads.

And not forgetting, the biggest challenge of all in these “embarrassment tasks” is of course hiding your embarrassment. If I’m out with Master J, the last thing I want is to look like I’m really embarrassed and uncomfortable, thus possibly giving people a poor impression of him from seeing him out with somebody who is seemingly shy, unconfident and uncomfortable, or having people look down on him/us and our chosen lifestyle by having it a little too in your face, or even, God forbid, have people become confrontational if it looks like I’m being forced to do things against my will. It is the downside of public tasks – I don’t want to portray a detrimental society to the younger generation. I won’t even swear within earshot of children as I don’t want them to pick any bad habits from me. I want to show younger girls how to be confident and feel sexy in themselves, being who they are. I don’t want to show them that they have to be something they’re not to please society. That’s just my obscure view of the world anyway!

I hope this “cobbled together” blog has been enjoyable to you, my loyal and appreciated readers.

As usual, all feedback, comments, and questions are always welcome – you can comment on these blog pages, or you can e-mail me/us direct on blogslut13@yahoo.co.uk (as always, e-mails with the word “master” anywhere in the subject box will go to my kind and loving Master J, and I won’t read them, otherwise more often than now I will read and reply. I do reply to all e-mails as quickly as possible – in busier times or when I get lots of e-mails, it may take a week or two though, so I apologise in advance (or in retrospect to anybody who has e-mailed me recently who hasn’t got a reply yet) for my tardiness.

Love
Blogslut xx