The Journey... Chapter 5 - Realisation

It’s been a long time since Chapter 4 – so please go back and re-read the previous chapters before starting on this one, just to refresh your memories! :-)

Months into my relationship with Tom, we finally actually made an outward admission to ourselves that something was going on. We weren’t just friends, we weren’t lovers either, but we were definitely somewhere in between. As class finished that day, with my braless breasts swelled with horniness, I could hardly believe that my nipples still seemed to be rock hard, it had been three hours and they were still going strong, I wondered if the room was ice cold or something, but no, the temperature seemed reasonable.

I left the room and was looking for Tom, I couldn’t find him anywhere, he had vanished into thin air. I was so disappointed. Then as I walked out of the building, with my phone in my hand as I began to send him a text message, I saw him standing by his car. He smiled over at me and then got in. I looked around casually to see who was around – this had become a regular thing for me to do if I was getting a lift with him, I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea (or maybe it would have been the right idea) because that’s how rumours start – I couldn’t see anybody I knew, so I headed over to his car and got into the passenger side. We smiled at each other, I said hi, he looked at me, started the car, looked back over at me, and, stating the obvious, he said, “I hope you don’t mind me saying, but your tits look fucking fantastic!”. He’d never spoken to me like that before, he rarely even used crude language, so it sent goosebumps down my body as I blushed profusely and tried to hide the fact that I was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. But always liking to hold my own in these kind of conversations, and keep the upper hand – as I said, I didn’t even really know what being submissive was all about at this point – I replied with a jokey statement of “it’s taken you long enough to notice!” Referring to the fact that we’d been friends for around 6 months now and I’d spent most of that time trying to get him to notice! We both laughed out loud.

He drove me home to my Uni flat, and we chatted quite mundanely about Uni work for the ten minutes or so that the journey took. It was quite uncomfortable really, we both knew our relationship had changed, but neither of us was ready to talk directly about it, or knew how to bring it up with the other in a serious manner. We were both just waiting for the other one to say something I think. I invited him up for coffee, he said no as he had to be somewhere, and I walked toward my building, slowly, waiting for him to call my name, hoping for another “instruction”. But it didn’t come.

As disappointed as I was on that occasion, it didn’t take long for me to get over it, as only a matter of days later he drove me home again, and I invited him up for coffee again, and this time his response was “Yes!”. He’d been up to my flat several times before, as we had been friends for several months and had studied together a few times, but this time was different. We sat at the kitchen table as I made us some coffee’s, the chat was somewhat mundane once again, he sat there looking like there was something heavy on his mind, and I flitted around making the drinks, and being a bit too flirty. At one point instead of walking around him to the other side of the table to pick something up, I just leaned and reached right across him, thrusting my right breast against his left cheek. Looking back with some since-gained wisdom, I have to admit I was incredibly naughty to really be practically offering myself on a plate to a married man.

After I’d finished making coffee and sat down across from him, he finally broke our long-standing silence and talked about “us”.

He said that he was married, happily married, but he added that he also really looked forward to attending classes at Uni as he really enjoyed spending time with me, and he was more than a little confused over our situation. I don’t remember the conversation word for word, but I do remember that I apologised for coming on a little strong, and I told him that I’d just developed a crush on him and for a while I’d just wanted the crush to be reciprocated, to feel that there was part of him that wanted me too, but I realised that maybe I’d pushed a little hard to get that, and in the process I had kind of found myself wanting... more. We sat there pondering over a definition of our relationship, were we just friends, were we more, did we want to be more, was there a happy medium? Then we heard one of my flatmates down the corridor – she was a pretty loud character, so trust me that you knew when she was coming from a mile away!

So we didn’t have her walk into the middle of our awkward conversation – there had already been the odd rumour flying around about the nature of our relationship without us adding fuel to the fire – we quickly retreated to my room to finish our talk. It had taken us a long time to get to a point where we could talk about this, so this conversation needed to be finished while we were in the right mood to talk about. But frankly, my bedroom wasn’t the most ideal of backdrops considering the nature of our talk!

Actually, my bedroom also had my desk and my computer and everything in there, and it was a bit of a mess, so it wasn’t a sexy and serene love boudoir at all! Lol

We perched on my bed and chatted quietly about us, it was quite an emotional chat, but not in a fits of tears kind of way. I think I generally made it clear that I loved his quiet, mature, but somewhat over-powering nature, and that I’d loved our flirting ways and the direction they’d been going in. And also that although it wasn’t what I’d originally intended, and it wasn’t the be-all and end-all of what I was feeling right then, that if he did want to “progress things” between us, then I wouldn’t turn him down. He once again re-iterated that he was a married man, and wasn’t the kind of person who went around playing around behind his wife’s back. But he did think there were avenues of our relationship that we could go down without taking things too far or jeopardising anything else.

“Do you like it when I give you orders?” he asked. I stuttered a little bit, embarrassed by what my answer to that question was going to be. “Erm, I guess it’s quite fun” I replied. “Is that a yes? If it’s a yes, you can just say yes, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” He said in a dead-pan manner. “Yes.” I finally answered. He followed up with another question – “Do you enjoy being a bit naughty for me, a bit of a slut?”. His directness startled me somewhat. A voice inside my head just shouted “yes” immediately, but I couldn’t say that out loud. I was 19, innocent, naive, respectable. I didn’t know what being submissive was all about, and that being a slut wasn’t always a bad thing. So I just stated, quite timidly if I remember correctly, “I’m not a slut.” He responded in an authoritive but comforting tone, “I never said you were my dear, I just asked if you enjoyed acting sluttily. For me? It’s a simple yes or no answer.” I looked down toward the floor. “Yes.” I said.

I caught him staring at a small lockable chest in the corner of my room. “Is something wrong?” I asked. He asked what I kept in there and if I had the key. I didn’t keep anything important or private in there, it was just a small storage chest that I threw junk into to keep it out of the way. I didn’t even lock it, it wasn’t personal stuff. I explained this to him, but said that I did have the key. He stood up and stated very matter-of-factly that he had something I could do for him. Take every pair of panties that I own, place them into that chest, lock it, and give him the key. I looked at him, he had a cheeky but sexy glint in his eye and was trying his best not to smile. I smiled and stood up, walked over to my underwear drawer, took out all my panties, and placed them into the chest. I took the key off my shelf, locked it and handed it to him. “Is that all of them?” he asked. I said it was, but he knew better than I did. “Are you not wearing any today?” he asked. “Oh” is all I said, before hiking my skirt up and flashing a lot of my legs to Tom whilst removing my panties right in front of him. I took the key back, unlocked the chest, threw them in, and locked it again. “Are you sure that’s them all this time?” he asked me whilst glancing over to the laundry basket at the other side of my room. I smiled at him, “You’re good” I said. And I fished out my last few pairs and locked them away too. I gave him the key, and he tucked it away in his wallet. “You’ll get this back when you’ve earned it back! He stated with a smile.

*In my Chapter planning notes, I had quite a bit more down for this chapter. However, I’m conscious of this a) taking too long to write and post, and b) becoming too long of a chapter. Therefore, I’m going to end this chapter here, and follow on with the rest (including my first submissive sex, which is where I’d planned to get up to in this chapter) in the next chapter.*